Why Even the Best Couples Argue

Couple arguing at a coffee shop

Photo: RawPixel

Curious why your friend and her boyfriend argue although they seem like the perfect couple? A large majority of the time, arguments arise out of unmet emotional needs. This is because, in all honestly, arguments reveal the heart.

Argue less

For starters, there are several types of love languages — one being acts of service. Those involved in relationships need to understand their partner’s love language in order to meet that emotional need.

Little things like putting his dishes into the dishwasher, or cleaning out the lint tray after drying clothes are not a big deal to him, but to me it is because I hate mess. It’s about being proactive.

Couple laying happily in bed cuddling

Photo: Toa Heftiba

So what is their heart saying?

They need to live in a clean environment and be proactive with any sort of clutter because otherwise it’s emotionally upsetting to them.

To easily disarm the other person in an argument, look for the emotional need behind their words. Figure out why your partner is so upset over what seems so small and silly to you. Why choose to argue with your partner when you could just understand their perspective and compromise so both of you are happy?

The answer to that question will help you not only understand the other person, but it’ll help you figure out the correct step to take to meet their emotional need and maintain a healthy and positive climate for communication in the relationship.

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